Hi everyone,

so... this is actually a rather spontaneous devlog which does not have to do with the actual Late Shape Project too much. But I will connect it in the thematic and the closure of all this to at least justify the only somewhat fitting devlog category that was available. 

It also means that if you are only interested in the project itself when clicking on the thumbnail, feel free to skip this. It is actually a post about me, the developer, rather than my actual work. Or well, I guess it is about my work - but about the one lying in the past. Again, with connections to the actual current project, so that we can now all make an obvious pun about a certain SNES game.

Alright, so in this devlog I want to open myself up and tell you about my past works in the rpg maker scene. If you look into my profile page you will notice... or wait, no you will not. I removed that. Whoops. Anyways, I worked with RPG maker for about 15 years now in some form or another - the latter 8 or 9 mostly in thoughts and concepts. Which devalues the time a bit, but let's keep it at "I spent a lot of time with it" even during that time. Suffice to say that even during that period, I knew about every update for the software, was lurking in forums and looking into concepts, features and ideas for multiple projects I simply did not start for various reasons I will list below.

Finally, the reason I am doing this is mostly for myself. So again, if you are not interested, just skip it. I wanted a fresh start when I began this project, as I did not only cut ties with the scene long before, but also with other things and individuals for personal reason. Nothing bad or something like that, more of a "finding myself and what I want" kind of scenario. That being said, while I did not put my past on the spotlight, someone who would randomly stumble on this site or my profile could already connect the dots to who I might be. Which I guess was something I did want to avoid just to keep the ties cut. But I think that it may be more beneficial to me if I lay it open, and therefore to rest for my own sake. Everyone who wants can know about it, and I can handle it respectively. I do not want it to bother me, nor do I want it to change my way going into the future - that is why I am doing this.

Anyways, this will probably be a mixture of social stuff and my personal work. So let us simply start with my actual very first project:

It was called "Naria - The Kingdom in the Sky"... I believe. Well, I think this was back in the 5th to 7th grade, and my first experience with RPG Maker (XP back then). The picture is a rough mock-up I came up with, but it should be quite representative of the actual one back then. And yes, I somehow thought adding the title commands on the picture would change them in the game *sigh*. 

That being said, the game was actually finished. It was mostly a rush-through multiple maps with mostly nothing in them. The story was mostly made up in my mind and not very deep to begin with. A hero whose village was attacked by a dark wizard (while he was in the probably best dungeon in the game under his own home), setting up his adventure through different biomes and adding people to his party, to eventually meeting the villain back in his trademark evil castle.

It did had some charme for what it was, I guess. My first try of making a fantasy come reality. It was also inspired by "Castle in the Sky", I believe. So there is that.

Next up, I did improve my "Maker Skillz" and learned how to better use the editor in every aspect (except scripting). I created an actual opening that... was not even that bad to be honest. Very simple and uninspired of course, but for what it was, got the point around and had good pacing.

You basically were a small child who wanted to play with their friend in the woods. At night. And a vampire kidnapped the friend. How creative, especially coming from a guy who was big into the german rpg maker classics of the time. After that, the kid was sent to their grandparents to forget, and a time lapse happened. Now almost grown up, they visited a fighting school with their friends. After clearing out a mine inhabited by "BEES" (or wasps? I dunno), the village had been attacked by vampires. And then... our hero saw their childhood friend. Also grown up. And a vampire. Yeah.

Well, the vampire obviously kicks our hero's butt, but of course gets a flashback before finishing them. So they leave and the prologue ends.

... And so does the game. I actually never really continued it. Or at least not story-wise. I remember adding locations and stuff into the project, but nothing really worth mentioning. At some point, I just dropped it. Probably lost interest in a sudden project I began back then.

Now, this was actually the first project I had someone else look into. I gave it to the classic "school friend" I had back then. You know, the type who you hang around with, but they would actually throw you off a cliff the first moment they had to. Anyway, they actually liked the game for what it had to offer. But of course, we were both in the 6th or 7th grade back then, so quality was not really something we considered.

After that, I believe a bit of time had passed. I did work on some things probably, as well as trying to get my neighbour into doing games with me, as well. Was quite fun I am sure, but nothing really lasting.

Now, finally the time had come for my very first "real" game project. And for that, I did what every aspiring game maker would do.

Making a fan game of something actually existing. Like Mario. Yes. (It was also in RPG Maker 2003 now)

Now, back then it was actually... quite normal to do that, and even things beyond that, which were never really... allowed. That being said, the game never got uploaded anywhere, as the "jury" I sent it to thought it did not suffice their standards. Which is understandable. It was not that great and would not have deserved a spot on their website. But what was not understandable was how they did not remove the absolute... great... first projects of other people from 5+ years back, because back then they obviously had lower standards. Fairness, everyone!

Anyways, while the game was not amazing - it was actually a game. And it had an actual kind of amazing plot point in my book.

Mario was in Bowser's castle. You know, skipping all the usual adventuring stuff and going straight to the end. But then, BAM! Bowser tricks him, and he gets transformed into a goomba. Which you had to play as the entire time, while traversing through the castle. Again, actually quite a cool idea, I believe.

Now, the game was mostly a traversal through various maps, split into three areas if I remember correctly. You had to solve simple puzzles, trade with Bowser's minions a la Zelda (what a mix) and even find two hidden entries to open the big door to the "real" area. Where the music got serious, Shy Guys had to be avoided, and the final steps towards Bowser needed to be made.

The game also had the best combat you can add in RPG Maker, ever. Active Battle System via events. Yes. Which basically meant "Standing still and spamming Enter to win" or "Get bloated out the window in a second" because you had no i-frames.

That being said, there actually was a re-occuring enemy, coming back for more fights in different areas like a rival. All in all, I think for what it was, the game was actually quite enjoyable.

So what better thing to do than make a sequel! This time more inspired by the actual Mario and Luigi games, you would be kicked out of Peach's Castle (as a goomba - gotta keep the main element) and travel through different locations like a mountain, a spooky forest and what-not to find the obviously not 1:1 copies of the stars from Paper Mario in order to get back into the castle.

Big additions this time: Peach was evil (certainly not stolen from Thousand-Year-Door) and Luigi was added to the party early on.

The game was also fun for what it was, and the "jury" thought it had a better quality. Still, it "was not enough" in their eyes. Oh well...

Now, as I switched class mates in the 8th grade, and was kind of a douchebag to the one person I wanted to befriend one year back, it was actually quite a time before they became my actual only real friend during school. Because of that, I did not really got a chance to show these two "masterpieces" to anyone. I could of course upload them myself, even in the forums of mentioned website - but I was too shy to do that.

Which brings us to the second act of all this. Beginning of puberty. It was a time of change. A time of fresh ideas. A time of... nothing really, actually. I may got a bit braver and my mind changed about some things, but I always was a bit of a "Late Shaped" character in that regard (please stop).

Still, it got me back to actually making new games... even though I did not really want to make them. Huh. Well, we come back to this a bit further below. Anyways, with that being said, I started small and made a mini game.

It was called "One Minute!". And yes, these pictures are all you will get from me. I am not a very sentimental person, so I like to keep memories in my head only. Would be neat to show some pictures here, but what are you gonna do. You all have to set with my amazing drawing skills.

Now, the game was kind of a trial-and-error-escape-the-room game. Yes, this is now a genre. You had one minute (really) to find a way out of the room, before the old man who let you in would... eliminate you for "reasons" (I have no idea).

The game was actually really simple and short. A while after that, when I presented it on the forums of said website, I actually improved it because of the feedback I got. It now featured multiple endings, more ways to fail, and even some slight variances depending on how you approached different "paths". I think it was a funny thing for, well, a few minutes. Nothing bad, but also nothing too special.

Going from there, I actually made the best game in terms of quality to date. Well, in some parts.

It was called "Time" - the most innovative and certainly never used title in history. You were a time agent, tasked by the moon goddess to stop people from manipulating said time with certain artefacts.

And if this sentence makes you go "what even", than congratulations. You effectively summarized the amount of work I put into throwing ideas together and calling it "deep and mysterious".

I did go back and tried to make the story more explained and connected - but trying to do this, or anything, to a game that started like that was nearly impossible. Now, good thing I dropped that and did not try to make a sequel and a big spin-off to that... heh, heh...*sigh*.

Right, when I said it was the best game in terms of quality, I mostly meant the atmosphere and presentation I was going for. Something that I actually kept since then and mostly replicate for Late Shape Tale.

The rest however... oh boy. Now, let me get started with "I probably did not care" and "I made this within a week or two for a friend of mine as a present". If we go from there, the game was okay. But only barely.

Gameplay was not really existing. It took the "only tries to tell a story" in the actual not entertaining way and when it had actual content per area, it was really uninspired and lazy. Put that in context of a not actually that great story and you had a game that wished to actually be that good as it may presented itself.

Well, I guess this had the most impact on me in multiple ways, then. Not only did it crash my ambitions after a while and I went downhill as a game maker from there, but it also makes my current project a logical step up from there as I try to invest way more into the actual content.

Oh yes, it did actually crush my ambitions, almost forgot about that!

Listen, I would assume a lot of you know stories like that to the brim or even had similar experiences. I am not telling this to get any sentimental points, but to simply put it off my chest. And well, because it is simply how it went.

Brave as I was, this game was actually my first attempt of presenting myself on the forums - the outer worlds (tm). And it went... well, somehow?

The point where I was getting myself into these forums was actually at a time where these RPG Maker scenes, at least in Germany, hit quite the massive downfall. Not many jumped onto the dev-train anymore, at least not how it was back then. It was a time were RPG Maker became more quiet in some ways, the rise of the indie dev market and how small games would be handled was on the horizon. Sites who presented... not so actual allowed things had to remove them and people who adjusted their mindset to making game dev more modern went ahead, leaving the rest in their old spots.

... Something like that. At least that is how I remember it. The site I was on was certainly led by people of the old ways, and while they adapted where necessary, new people came in more and more rarely. I would not be surprised if, nowadays, the page does not even exist anymore.

Now, that being said, imagine a green horn like me coming into the scene - at such a time at a place where these people were always kind of reluctant to get into the work of someone they did not know. I guess you could say this forum (and another one, maybe the whole german scene?), was more... private like that. Close friends who knew each other from conventions and stuff already. You could make friends with them or become known on their page, but it was difficult. And yes, I called it "elitist" somewhere else, but even though I have not a real friendly memory of that time, I want to be nice here. That being said, there were also nice people around, of course. So there is that.

As such, when posting my game, the resonance was kind of... not really there. It took a few days until I got a response.

"Your game soft-locks." - Guy who did not realize he got himself into a cutscene.

I am aware that it was not good game design from my side, but it always reminds me of these really nit-picky comments you will get when you post on a site like that. Love 'em or hate 'em.

After that I actually got some more, until I got a really long and detailed summary of what the person liked and disliked. Which was awesome.

So I did a thing. I actually replied. I took the feedback apart and said where I would look into changes and what I would keep because "reasons".

Listen. Never do that. Like, never. No matter how you rely that information, no matter how much you think it is normal and justified. Do not do it. People will not like it. They will not like you feedback-ing their feedback in such a way. You only get yourself into trouble.

Now, that person was, surprise, not that happy about my response. What I would consider and what I would not change because of reasons I gave them. Granted, I was super nervous at that point and my responses probably came across arrogant. I will not deny that. It also did not help that I considered most of the feedback as "Will not change, because...", as I always had a reason. "Game is done", "Wanted to make it look like this because...", "It is part of the engine", "It makes sense in the greater picture", "Thought it was okay, is subjective".

It is... really hard to put this into words. Because if you read it like that - it does make sense. It is your game, you know if you got a good feeling about how you did it. Or if it really is bad game design and wrong decisions. Well, in the best case you do, because that makes you a decent game creator. Still, I firmly believe since that very moment, that you should mostly summarize all the above as "thanks for feedback" because of this. I may judge all this situation-based in accordance to my feeling and give some more information in addition, but I will also use that feeling of mine and the obvious changed view of things because of age to know when a situation becomes kindergarten.

Speaking of which: That person decided it was a good idea to give me a really negative, sarcastic and somewhat insulting answer in response. Which again, I can justify to some extent because of my presentation of myself back then. If said person however starts to even make fun of the things you did tell them you will look into, makes it obvious that they simply do not take kindly to "back-talking" and continues to indirectly make fun of you and mention your game negatively in other threads... well. I could go on about that, but it would become childish and subjective. Suffice to say, it was neither professional nor very friendly. And while, as said, it  may have been somewhat understandable to react like that, it was still not the right thing to do.

So! While that did not destroy my self-esteem instantly for reasons I do not even know nowadays, it certainly did corrupt me over time. I do not want to say that I did not work on many games after that just because of that alone, but the increase of self criticising myself because of that certainly did not help and makes it problematic to work on things even now. So if you ever wondered "Why does he take so long for the few things he did" - that is mostly the reason most of the time.

Now, to finally finish the part for this game - there were also people who liked my approach in atmosphere and story telling. So I guess you cannot make everyone happy. I personally see where I made mistakes, but it is great to see that somebody still liked it. Things like these are probably the counter-side which actually give me motivation from time to time.

After all this, I believe I actually got invested in things around making a game a bit more. I remember stumbling on someone's site where they put out technical articles from time to time. And an article about fantasy tennis. Which was published by the same company also responsible for the online game I played back then. Oh, the random chances of life...

Anyways, because of this and some other encounters, I looked into how to package a game and presenting it on a website. The packaging... was a fun wanna-be excurse into the world of "antivirus does not like you if it is not certified" - so I gave that up pretty quick. The website was something I was invested for some time, however. I did update it from time to time and did not only showcase some games but also a few stories I wrote about that online game, as well as a handful of program articles. I guess it was kind of a mixed-bag about things that got my interest as a child... uhm I mean, person starting their puberty. Getting grown up and stuff, yeah.

Now that I write it, I believe all this was actually quite later... like in 10th or 11th grade? God, I was so childish, hah.

In accordance to this, I started making other games. One of them, and the only one that saw the light of day, was "Dungeon Chronicle" - which believe it or not - has nothing to do with the play store game that apparently now exists (do not ask me, I randomly stumbled upon it).

It had something new: Actual good mapping. Yes, I cannot believe it either. There were only two maps though, which were packed to the brim with events for tutorials, flavour-text, gameplay and "combat" (you know, the active event... forget it).

The problem was, it was again something I thought "I had to make" and did not really think through in terms of long-term support. You have an idea for a game, some early feature plans? Great! Now, make a game with multiple areas, fights and gameplay scenarios with it. Oh...

Let's say it like this: If your game builds upon you being in an ice cave and nothing else, you can only do so much. Especially if you are not ready to expand on it yourself. Still, it had some interesting ideas like party talks and a revive mechanic that was limited to 3 uses for the whole game.

As I actually had a website to post the game on, I also made a newsletter and sent it to only the best suited cases: My online friend whom I presented Time to, my old, real school friend, and the friend of the online friend who actually had nothing to do with all of it. You know, only the most fitting. In that order, by the way.

Surprisingly, I never got more out of it then the two-room demo and quickly went on to something else. I remember trying a detective game called "A Case for Chess". Yeah... it did sound better, but as cheesy in german. The only reason why I wanted to make it was also because I was very into "Detective Conan" (Case Closed, I believe?) at that time.

Remember how I said better not to make a sequel to Time? Well.

I actually had a somewhat prototype and thought-out concept for a game that played afterwards. It would include a three-person party made of the characters from the first game, an evented turn-based combat system for a few fights, and of course some new, expanded locations.

In that regard, I can actually not fault my process of making it. It had more planning going into it, the content would have been more and better. I actually really thought about this being a solid game for the time.

Alas, it was not to be (How poetic, I know). I was at a point where I would assume everything had accumulated. My self-criticism stopped me from continuing, I wondered if it was actually really something I wanted to spent time into, as well. So I did not and spent it better: Completely investing myself in the mentioned online game. You know, the usual. (I was around 18 at that time, by the way)

Well, it was what it was. The game never got beyond it's initial concepts. I also worked on a spin-off in parallel. Actually a long time, now that I think about it. At least, I looked a lot into changing the scripts of the engine and adding assets like music. Mostly music. I miss this music. It was good, but back then the artists just.. put them on that france music site for usage under different licences and... did not bother to transfer into the next age of the internet and independent marketing, I guess.

Suffice to say, that spin-off, while getting a presentation on the forum, never got anywhere. I also tried to re-make the first game into something else at one point, as well as remaking the first one in general, but always gave up for all the reasons mentioned above.

Which brings us to our last game on the list. Yes, I randomly did one final one after all that while being in a year-long IT class. And I shared it with said class in a facebook group. Such times.

I actually did have a new webpage at that point, though. It was a blog, however. Gotta go with the times! Or something like that.

Back to the game: It was my probably one and only attempt of doing "RPG Maker Horror", simply as that game alone showed me that I had no interest in making such content. And no, I did not think like that back then, that would skip the important character development.

So yeah, I did that. The game was called "Last Minutes" (Why was everything time related?). You only had a few minutes to get through a chain of item trades in order to exorcise a demon and be able to escape.

It was alright. It had a decent atmosphere and the gameplay was okay for what it tried to be. Nothing special though, and again made in a week. I also was not happy with the pacing in some parts. So there is that. It had some interesting ideas as well, like the demon being triggered when going into the main hall and you have to avoid him via quick time... you know, no. It was a horrible idea. Oh yes, and an alternate ending. With horrible pacing.

Last game done, everyone. Woohoo!

[Sneaky edit from the future: I actually remembered another game I did before working on the time-related games. It was a... horror game set in a castle, with an action battle system (you know). Not sure what it was exactly inspired by aside the classic rpg maker games back then. It was interesting for me in the regard that I started playing around with more on-map related mechanics and coming up with stuff for the project. But it did not get further than that.

And another one I remembered while writing this (boy oh boy): Another game in a castle, where a group of friends would have to solve more or less cutscene / mini-game based rooms to progress a short story. It did not leave the early stages either, but I again tried around with some stuff, this time more script-related things.

At this point I am pretty sure I might have started even more projects, but you get the idea by now.]

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After all this... I came to the realization. It was all... everything was... not what I wanted and a complete waste of my time. Not who I wanted to be. Like everything else in my life. Because I was young and thought the world would be... no, had to be open to me.

Well, turns out the world works quite different than I thought and you start to look a bit... broader and realistically at things. I did, at least. I started to notice how it would go for me, and that I would not really be me by replacing everything with something else. Quite the opposite, even the things that did interest me slowed down to a point where I could not bother with them anymore. And cannot to this day, actually.

So, I guess today I am who I am. Because of what happened and because I learned to know myself. How philosophical. Well, not really.

It was an important step for me, and I still have a lot of things to go through, because it is actually very difficult for me. But I am at least not fantasizing about things that I simply will not achieve or do, because I do not even want to. My life may change in certain aspects in the future, but I still have the ability to decide what I want it to be... mostly.

Part of these thoughts and realizations are also the reason why I could finally come back to making games. Seeing them as a personal hobby, and really making them from scratch in a way I want to make them. I still want to put in effort, and it often makes it difficult to be satisfied with the results, but it is at least coming along and will be something to look forward for in the future.

And while I successfully scratched mostly anything else from my life and do not miss it (minimalism, everyone), I still have a few things that make me... well, me. I am still working on that front, though.

So... what did I actually want to tell with that last part? Oh right, that I had a ten year hiatus because of some happenings and me needing to find myself. That I do not look back that happily at them but wanted to close on them with this devlog. And that the pause actually helped me in finding out what I want - so it was probably very necessary, not only for me but also for making games. (In that order... right? Just kidding.)

Now, if someone ever reads the probably longest post I will ever have written on here: Thanks, I guess. Maybe you only did it out of boredom. It's okay. I will not judge. Maybe a little. Spent your time in a better way! Anyways, thank you.

And if anyone who does remember me is reading this, even if it is only the slightest of chances: I am not mad at you. But I also do not want to go back. So if you remember anything from this, leave it at that. If you actually know me better: Also leave it at that. If you know me better because we had a great time back then: Please, also leave it at that. It may have been great, but I moved on and decided it will not bring anything beneficial for anyone to continue it. Leave the ties cut. Much appreciated.

At the end... I do hope this connects to my actual, current work sufficiently. I mean, the project has a link to the past, right? (Stop. It.)

Like always, thank you for reading and have a nice week, everyone.

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